entertainment for the day

The Washington Post held a contest of the "worst analogies ever written in a high school essay". Listed below are some of the winners.

"He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it." (Joseph Romm, Washington)

"The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't." (Russell Beland, Springfield)

"From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Jeopardy" comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30." (Roy Ashley, Washington)

"Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever." (Unknown)

"He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree." (Jack Bross, Chevy Chase)

"Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph." (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)

"John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met." (Russell Beland, Springfield)

"The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play." (Barbara Fetherolf, Alexandria)

"The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon." (unknown)